Feeling sad and anxious is difficult and psychotherapy can help because it gives you a space to feel and think differently. Deep sadness can become a normal state for people who can’t see a way forward. Low mood can become more frequent and it makes it difficult to be positive, open-minded and purposeful.

Symptoms of depression include low energy, difficulty in sleeping, crying or wanting to cry a lot or feeling desperate, not having much appetite and lack of self-care.  Drugs and alcohol can become part of your life to help you to cope.  It is not useful to give yourself a hard time about this.

Terrible things can have happened to us – long-term neglect, abuse, sudden loss, death of loved ones and many other traumas.  Our responses are to look after ourselves which may mean putting a wall around us or maybe being antagonistic to others.

Talking with a psychotherapist either on your own or with a member of your family can help. As a systemic psychotherapist, I can help you feel less sad, less alone and able to get a wider perspective.  Change will probably feel risky.  However, I would expect you to be in the driving seat and sometimes just a small conversation will be all you can cope with.  That is fine.

At some point, I will suggest talking more to see if there are people who may help with your stuckness.

Anxiety is often experienced alongside sadness or depression. It may seem normal to have many thoughts going around your head but if you have a lot of worry and do things in a rigid or compulsive way it is a lot to cope with.

There are various things you can do working with a psychotherapist to move to be more hopeful and positive. A useful psychotherapist will want to understand what you are going through and help you to consider at your pace if you want to live your life in a different way.

The psychotherapy I offer will include acceptance, understanding and making a plan of treatment. I encourage people to see their problems (and solutions) as not only to do with them but also to include people who have been or are close to them.

Couple therapists help people, whether LGBTQ or straight, who feel their primary relationships are not meeting their emotional and practical needs.  Sometimes ways of communicating and living alongside each other become frustrating, distressing or harmful. You may have been thinking that you want to live with more hope and more optimism.

I have considerable experience in working with couples facing distress at being stuck in the same situation.  A confidential context can help couples to listen to each other again, to speak clearly without ambiguities and to focus on the resentments that often create problems.  These changes lead to new possibilities.

If you have had an unexpected unpleasant event in your relationship or a trauma then it can be useful to talk in therapy. I can give you a safe space where you can consider how much you want to describe what happened and also how much you want to consider the consequences of the event or events. It may be soon after the problem or a year or many years that you decide that you want to talk about it.

Couples often go for long periods before they feel able to talk about their problems. There are some difficulties which may be common but still need a therapeutic relationship to address them such as communication issues or varying sexual desire and/or arousal.  Parenting issues may be situated in an individual or in a couple but the solution is likely to be with parents coming to seek help together.  The most common problems brought to couple therapy in my experience are arguing, affairs and also the tone and content of communication.

The problems that can be the most difficult to bring are domestic violence and breakdown in relationships. The problems that people delay the longest have to do with sexual compatibility, sexual drive and physical problems. However, putting up with these problems is painful and if you can I would encourage you to do something about it.

Family therapists provide a service for people who live with or are connected to families. There may be one parent, or two or more. I offer to work with heterosexual and same-sex couples.  Each family brings their particular issues which I respect. Family therapy can be a good way of helping individuals and families make the best use of their abilities to cope with stressful life events.

Personality and relationships are shaped by what families and other significant people expect and permit.  At times habits and ways of responding can lead to particular difficulties for one or more family members.  Having a different sort of conversation in a confidential setting can be the first step.

Family therapy may occur with two or more people. Frequently issues of cooperation and communication are highlighted. This may be between children, teenagers, adults and older adults. Members of the extended network include friends, partner’s relatives, parents-in-law and other members of original/birth families. There may be issues regarding conception and assisted pregnancy. There may be developmental issues for the children and /or adults.

A recent example of a family I worked with will be described. The man and woman had a son who was not meeting the expectations of the father. There were issues with beliefs, communication and rigid behaviour. I was able to help by listening to all points of view, encouraging openness getting things clearer and helping untangle confusing situations. I focused on the existing strengths and worked with a spirit of optimism. Often in families, there are strategies that have been brought in to help situations that need further discussion and reflection. I identify strengths in all members of the network and promote recognition of them.

I often offer individual sessions as they can help the family work to progress.

I will help by listening and empathising. I will consider ideas that are brought forth in the meetings without jumping to conclusions.